In light of the recent big old mopar barge "winter beater", with the huffed 440, I think a feature on such cars would be an interesting departure from the typical camaro and mustang coverage.  All of the makers had huge luxo-barges in the early/mid 70's, so why not be daring and toss some cool parts at it?  These cars are huge and no one really wants them anymore, except for enduro races or smash-up derby's, so the price is cheap.  Besides, you can actually fit more than 2 people in them **LOL**.  The battle could consist of cars like the Buick Electra, Pontiac Bonneville, Chevy Caprice/Impala, Olds Delta 88, Caddy DeVille, Ford LTD, Merc Marquis, Dodge Monaco, Chrysler New Yorker... etc. Thoughts?  

I think it should be an RSE-type reader/team competition ("HEAVY METAL ELIMINATOR") but with open entries up to a maximum number. 

General rules:  Minimum weight should be 4,000 (no lead, steel,  iron or wood ballast allowed) and minimum wheelbase 118"  

Cars must be fully licenced, insured and road legal (including FIVE DOT-approved tires (must carry spare and jack) and mufflers). 

Any street-legal fuel should be allowed (including unleaded race gas, alcohol, propane, diesel).  Fuel tank(s) sealed before start of ride and drive. No refueling.

Any power adder or combination of power adders allowed.  No nitrous bottle changes or refilling after start of ride and drive.

Any engine within a manufacturer's "family" allowed (e.g. AMC could run any DaimlerChrysler engine; GM could run any GM; Ford, any Ford.  Bonus points added for "wedge-style" engine (Hemis and splayed-valve engines (e.g. Rat, 429/460) would not get bonus). Bonus points for same brand of engine in car (e.g. Cadillac in a Cadillac, Olds in an Olds, AMC in an AMC, etc.)

Transmissions must have minimum of three forward speeds and operational reverse.  No Lencos, Powerglides or clutchless manuals.

NHRA safety rules applicable to vehicle ET and configuration enforced, but cars must also have a minimum five-adult-passenger capacity. 

No altered wheelbases, firewall relocation,  multiple engines, mid/rear engines or non-OEM type suspensions. Bolt-on traction aids only (e.g. ladder bars, slapper bars, air bags, bolt-on anti-roll bars, bolt-on panhard bars, aftermarket shock aborbers) and factory rear suspension links may be upgraded and relocated, but basic design must remain as OEM (e.g. leaf springs must stay leaf, four links must stay OEM-style four link, Three links must stay oem-style three link, no coil-over shocks).  Rear axle upgrades allowed, including Dana 60 and Ford 9" in any body style, but no spools or quick change axles. No aftermarket wheel tubs allowed.  Front suspensions must bolt up to factory pickup points.

4" minimum ground clearance checked by driving over a big speed bump during the ride and drive at 2 mph.  No suspension adjustments, tire changes** or parts replacements after speed bump test.  

**except for replacement of flat tire with a tire of same type, brand and size)

Removal of front bumpers and hoods or lightweight replacements allowed but all other body panels must remain OEM, except as modified for tire clearance.  Hood scoops and fender flares allowed.  No Lexan or plastic windows unless factory equipped.

 Potential Competition categories:

1. Quarter mile

2. Autocross (What a cone-killing spectacular that would be!)

3. Ride and drive (bonus points for working air conditioner if temp measured at driver's duct is 45 degrees or lower; bonus points for working power windows, power door locks, power steering, power brakes, stereo, cruise control, clock, vanity mirrors on the sunvisors) 

4. Pass/Fail Idle test--car must idle on its own without any driver intervention or overheating for five minutes

5. Interior appearance and workmanship

6. Exterior appearance and workmanship

7. Power slide (why should the import drifters have all the fun. Takes more skill than a simple burnout contest.  Keeping it sideways and lit for length of course gains maximum points)

8. 60-0 braking

9. If lots of space is available, 0-100-0

10. Tailpipe sniffer (points deduction for amounts of CO and HC--got to keep this real world)

11. Value (points deduction formula based on the apprased value of the cars--this would be a good tie-in with an insurance company sponsor--even though such "racing competition" isn't covered by any collector/hot rod insurance policy I know of)

12. If done at a CC event, could add chassis dyno test and People's Choice categories.

A land barge shootout would be great, as I recall a RSE a few years back where a Caprice and a Caddy competed.  But I imagine you are talking more about the super heavyweights like   that blown New Yorker, late 60's/ early 70's luxo crusiers (Marauder, Bonneville, Riviera, et al.)  If this fantasy event were to take place close enough to wher I live, I'd be tempted to bring my daily driven turd of a Town Car.(Best hundred bucks I ever spent!)  

you cant ban the powerglide, it is a stock tanny. maybe you should say keep trannys loyal to family brand.  

i'd run my tugboat!!!73 caprice 2door with a 400....

SIGN ME UP, WHERE DOES IT START AND WHERE DO I PICK UP MY TROPHY  

We all knew the day would come when the rising price of classic 2 doors would make banging gears in a four-door necessary.

Minus whale embrace it and do some articles on it.

I don't give a rat's ass if it does get 6 mpg- commuting in a 72 Lincoln is way cooler than any Accord will ever be.  

I remember several years ago reading a piece written by Freiburger about when movie chases only featured big cars doing "four wheel drifts" around corners and how satisfying he found that. A time when getting a car to handle had a lot more to do with the person behind the wheel and less to do with the computer designed suspension. That article totally rang true for me.  It is nice to see somebody that can really drive making a big car do asphalt acrobatics.  I had a 2 dr hardtop '71 LTD for a brief time in highschool and loved to swing that big azz around corners.  Had to go back for a hubcap or two on several occasions.  I guess what I'm saying is that it's sad a lot of people will never know what it's like to nail a powerslide in a land yacht.  Helluva lot of fun.